Kindness is not enabling.
When someone causes us or others pain, whether intentionally or not, it is an act of kindness and responsibility to call that person in to be accountable.
In our society, the concept of kindness or compassion often blends with the general notion of niceness, making it challenging for many to discern their differences.
Kindness and compassion are not merely feelings; they are actions of love and care. While niceness, on the other hand, is primarily about being pleasant, agreeable, and enjoyable.
When we mistake kindness for niceness, we tend to sacrifice our authenticity to please people and prevent others from having uncomfortable emotions.
Being kind to ourselves involves speaking and standing up for ourselves. It means letting people know when they have crossed our boundaries, giving them the opportunity to be accountable. Naturally, that is also being kind to others, as it demonstrates our genuinely care for the relationship and this act of kindness becomes an invitation for them to become more aware and proactive in showing that they care as well. In short, it is a call for more vulnerability and closeness. However, if they persist in dismissing or hurting us, sometimes kindness involves setting healthy, permanent boundaries and allowing them the space to grow and evolve away from us. Sometimes people need time and experience to learn their lessons, and we do not always have to sacrifice our peace and wellbeing to be with them.
In contrast, being nice often involves censoring ourselves, making ourselves small, and invalidating our own feelings to avoid conflict, thereby enabling others to continue their harmful behaviors. Kindness contributes to our overall growth, but we cannot achieve that if we hold ourselves back or allow others to be hurtful or ignorant.
What we receive from kindness is long-term, while most things we do out of being nice is short-lived.
Being kind is free, though it may not always be easy to put into action.
Kindness involves freeing ourselves and showing others that they can do the same.
While it may be uncomfortable initially, kindness establishes an enduring sense of empowerment within.